Awkward
by Penelope Applegate
Summary: Nick and Jess have forged a sort of strange yet comfortable friendship as roommates. When they meet up in the kitchen late at night, they face a huge shift that threatens the comfort of their current arrangement.
1. Awkward

**Awkward**

* * *

She stares in deep concentration at the ceiling, her jumbled thoughts too overwhelming to allow her to slip into unconsciousness. She finally gives in with a frustrated sigh and throws her covers back, swinging her feet over the side of her bed. Blindly, she fumbles her way into the kitchen in search of a calming cup of tea. To her surprise, however, she finds that she is not alone.

"Nick," she greets him softly.

"Hey." He looks down into his mug, stirring his tea indolently as if his thoughts are focused elsewhere.

"Can't sleep?" she says stupidly, mentally kicking herself for stating the obviously obvious.

He doesn't answer immediately, and she almost wonders if he didn't even hear her. Suddenly, he breaks the silence as she reaches into the cupboard for her own mug. "I'm going to die alone," he whispers.

"What?" She puts the mug down on the counter and turns to him uncertainly.

"I'm going to die alone. I'm going to die a law-school-drop-out bartending failure with no girlfriend, no life, no nothing, no..." he laments, his voice slowly trailing away into nothing.

Her brows twitch in confusion and her eyes involuntarily shift to the right as if the walls might provide some clarity. "Wait... what?"

"Caroline."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

She pauses, searching in vain for the right words to say. "But..." She bites at her lip. "I thought you were done with her, after all she did...?"

"I was. I am. I..."

This makes her angry. She can't even explain why. But the anger bubbles up in her chest like hot lava until it explodes in her throat and inevitably reaches her lips. "You're stupid."

"Excuse me?" His head swivels to face her, his eyebrows furrowed indignantly.

"You're _stupid_. You're the biggest, stupidest idiot I've ever met. I can't even believe - you're _stupid_!"

"ME, stupid?!" He jumps to his feet and takes two steps towards her.

"You're a dumb... stupid... idiotface! You backsliding backslider!"

"Wait - _what_? Me?! Do I really have to bring up Paul and Asian-Jess?" he explodes, throwing his hands into the air.

"You..." Her face is scrunched into an angry glare, and she can't even find the words to express how deeply he infuriates her. "The difference, Nick, the difference between me and you is that _I moved on._ And Paul didn't hurt me like Caroline hurt you. I mean, he cheated on his girlfriend, but - whatever. And I'm not stuck on Paul. I don't _need_ Paul and his stupid ugly crying face!"

"Great for _you_, Jess," he sneers sardonically. "I'm glad you got past the cheating ugly crier."

"And _that's_ why you're stupid!" she says, jabbing him in the chest with her pointer finger. "Because you realized how stupid you were, and you said you moved on, but you didn't!"

"Why does that make you so angry?!" he yelled as he clenched his fists at his side.

"_YOU_ make me angry!"_  
_

"Why do I make you angry?!"

"Because-!" She realizes, suddenly, she has no good answer for his question. She doesn't even know why. Or maybe, she doesn't _want_ to know why. Instead of stopping to ponder these irritating questions, she pushes him away and growls in frustration before stomping past him._  
_

"Where are you going?" he calls after her.

"Shut up, Nick," she snaps defiantly.

And then there is a hand on her arm. And she is being pulled backwards. And then she is facing Nick, and his face is getting closer and closer and then-

"Ow!" she shrieks as his nose slams ungracefully into hers.

"Oh my... Jess, I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

As she peers up at him from under her bangs, she realizes her heart is racing faster than it ever has before. "What are you doing, Nick?" she whispers with more than a small degree of suspicion.

"It's you," he says with unnerving certainty.

His intense stare makes her breath catch in her throat. "What's me?"

"You, Jess." His quiet answer makes the situation no clearer. And then his lips are touching hers, and her mind goes blank. And his breath is on her face and his warm lips are pressing ever so gently against hers and his hand is sliding into her hair and her head is spinning and...

She pulls away abruptly. "Why?"

"Why?" he echoes blankly as if he's just surfaced from the depths of the ocean and hasn't had a chance to catch his breath or collect his thoughts.

"Why?" she repeats, staring up at him expectantly.

And then he smiles, and her knees go a little bit weak. "Because we have butt shaking arguments. Because you pretended to be a roadrunner and _actually_ chased away a coyote. Because you drive me crazy. Because you care. Because..." She swallows hard, afraid of what he might say next.

"Because...?" she prods in a weak whisper.

"I love you, Jess."

Her eyes go wide, and she feels the color drain from her face. _He loves me_. And for some reason, it is the most terrifying thing she has ever heard. Before she realizes what she is doing, she turns on her heel and all but runs from him, back to the safety of her room, ignoring his pitifully plea, and slams the door behind her.

She locks the door and slides to the floor.

_He loves me. He loves me. He loves me._

Her fingers drift to her lips as she remembers the way it felt to kiss him and the way her heart raced when he looked deep into her eyes and... _confessed his love._

_Oh my God... what have we done?_

* * *

_**I don't see their first kiss being all dramatic and sweet and sappy.**_

_**I kinda see it being weird and strange and awkward just like every other wonderful, lovable, amazing moment on the show :)**_

_**Maybe a one-shot. Maybe not. Thoughts?**_


	2. Nick, Schmidt & Winston

**Nick, Schmidt & Winston**

* * *

Winston yawns and stretches as he walks from his room to the kitchen. He's pretty sure he heard Nick and Jess arguing at some point in the middle of the night, but he knows better than to get up and ask questions. Instead, he made the wise choice to pretend he heard nothing and go back to sleep. With his pillow over his head, of course.

He's not at all surprised to find a moping - and likely hungover - Nick sitting at the table concentrating very seriously on his clasped hands. He knows he shouldn't ask. He should just keep walking and pretend he didn't see those puppy dog eyes. He should play it smart and sit this one out. Guilt beats him into speaking. "Long night?" he asks, hoping that Nick will not care to indulge.

No such luck. "I'm having a bad day," Nick pouts.

"Bad day, huh? That sucks. Good thing for you is that it just started and can only go up from here." He pours himself a glass of milk and swallows it in just a few gulps, hoping to make a speedy exit.

"Nooo," Nick draws out dramatically. "No, it can't."

"Well, I guess you won't know until you find out. Good luck with that, buddy." He slaps him on the shoulder and heads back towards the safety of his bedroom.

"I kissed Jess."

He didn't walk fast enough. And apparently, he didn't get enough sleep because he _knows_ he cannot be hearing correctly. "Stop hitting the bottles, Nick," he advises without stopping. "You're having crazy dreams again."

"I kissed her _for real_, Winston. I wasn't dreaming."

He freezes in his spot as the reality of the situation hits him. "Wait." He slowly turns on his heel and points with both hands at his hungover friend. "_You_ kissed _Jess_?"

"I don't know what I was thinking!" Nick wails in his typically whiny fashion. He whines when he talks about women, and while it normally doesn't both Winston (much), today it's enough to send him over the edge.

"_You_ kissed _Jess_?!" he repeats, his voice an octave higher this time_._

Schmidt chooses this perfect moment to emerge from his room. "Dudes, I just had the _wildest_ dream, like, _ever_!" he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

"Tell me you're lying, man," Winston says to Nick, whose head has found its way into his hands.

"Ammnnrrrmmehhh," he whines into his hands.

"Lying about what?" Schmidt, whose ears have yet to be tainted with Nick's awful news, has occupied himself with pouring a bowl of cereal, having found that no one is interested in hearing about his dream.

"Him!" Winston yells unintelligibly. "He did! _That_! My head! Oh, nooo..." He covers his ears with his hands and falls into the couch._  
_

"What's the matter with him?" Schmidt asks with half-concern as he begins to shovel cereal into his mouth.

"I kissed Jess," Nick mumbles.

Schmidt's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, fer _reals_?! Nooo way! High-five, mah man!" he hollers, holding out his hand to slap Nick a five. Nick, still wallowing in his hands, does not recognize or respond to the gesture.

"This isn't happening," Winston complains to no one in particular.

"So did you get to second base?" Schmidt demands, abandoning his bowl of cereal in favor of a more interesting topic.

Winston is once again on his feet and charging towards Nick. "You deflowered our little girl!" he accuses.

"What?" Nick squints up at his dramatically emotional friend.

"Seriously, did you?" Schmidt presses.

"You shut up!" Winston yells, pointing a finger at Schmidt. "You shut up! I still... I'm still trying to process..." His voice trails away as he loses all fire.

"I kissed her. I kissed her, and I liked it, and she ran away-"

"She ran _away_?" Schmidt laughs. "What'd you do, bite her?"

"This isn't _funny_, Schmidt!" Nick bellows. "_Nothing_ about this is funny!"

"I can't believe you kissed her, man," Winston moans as he falls into a dining room chair.

"I told her I love her," he adds with a sad shake of his head.

"You did _what_?!" Winston explodes._  
_

"Okay, now I've given up on you," Schmidt remarks, throwing up his hands and shaking his head.

"When did _this_ happen?!" Winston demands. "Where was I?!"

"I love her, I do," Nick whines with more than a slight suggestion of a tear in his shaking voice.

"You're weak, Nick. Weak!" Schmidt berates him with a shake of his finger.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Winston lays his head flat on the dining room table.

"I did get sick," Nick says needlessly. "Twice."

"Wait a minute, has she even come out of her room yet?" Schmidt is the first to notice their missing roommate.

"No," Nick wails. "She's hiding from me, I know it."

"Stop being such a little girl!" Winston shouts without lifting his head.

"Okay, okay." Schmidt puts both hands in the air in defeat. "It's time to call Cece."

* * *

**_This scene? This scene will be great, however they choose to write it :)_**


	3. Jess & Schmidt

**Jess & Schmidt**

* * *

"Jess? . . . You awake in there?"

She faces the window silently, curled up in the fetal position. Her mind is finally blank after a morning of fighting off the troubling thoughts in regards to He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.

"Look, I heard what Nick did - can I just come in?"

She frowns in what she realizes is a childishly pouty way, but she doesn't care. It's not like he can see her.

"I'm coming in, Jess."

_No you're NOT_, she thinks to herself smugly. _Cuz I locked my door!_

"Jess." When she hears him shut the door quietly behind him, she realizes to her great chagrin that she did not, in fact, lock her door.

"What do you want, Schmidt?" she mumbles in a lazy monotone.

"I called CeCe. She's on her way."

"That's nice, Schmidt."

For once, Schmidt seems to be at a loss for words. She hears him shift from one foot to the other.

"Are you done?" she prods, hoping he will take the hint and leave.

He doesn't. She feels the other side of her bed sink under his weight. "I know you're probably freaking out right now. What Nick did was really weird-"

"Ya think?" she interrupts, but he grasps that she is speaking rhetorically and doesn't skip a beat.

"But I'm sure we can get past this... all of us..."

"You make it sound like this is a family affair."

"Well..."

"Look, Schmidt, it's nice that you mean well, but I don't want to think about it - and I _definitely_ don't want to talk about it. So why don't you take all the hits I've been droppin' and get to steppin'."

"Steppin', Jess? Really, though?"

"Bye, Schmidt."

He sighs in defeat, and the weight on her bed lifts. "This isn't over, Jess."

"Mhmm. Right, Schmidt."

She hears her door close, and once more she is left alone to concentrate on thinking about nothing.

Nothing at all.

* * *

**_Schmidt is interesting to write. I feel like - in this instance - he would resist the urge to say something d-baggy._**

**_Maybe._**

**_And if that were the case, he wouldn't last long. Because, really, what do you say in this situation?_**

**_Super weird._**


	4. Jess & Winston

**Jess & Winston**

* * *

"Okay, Jess, open up."

Winston. She ignores Winston. But she knows he won't give up. He's got a bit more stamina than Schmidt. From her position leaning against the door, she shakes her head and stares in deep concentration at the floor.

"Don't make me pick the lock."

"Winston, I seriously doubt you even _know_ how to pick a lock."

"Well maybe I _do_!"

"Except your voice just got all high-pitched and totally gave you away. So I bet you'll be stuck out there in that hallway for a while."

"That's cold, Jess."

"I read you like a book, Winston."

A nice silence follows. She muses idly that it would be an awkward silence if he were sitting in front of her and congratulates herself for having the sense to lock her door. Awkwardness is certainly nothing foreign to Jess, but this... this is an unbearable degree of awkwardness.

_Awkward itself is such a funny word_, she thinks to herself.

"So how's your day going, Jess?" he breaks the silence.

"Really, Winston?"

"It's just a question!" he defends himself in the same high-pitched voice.

"Really, Winston?"

"Yes, how is your day?" he repeats himself with slightly less certainty.

"Awful. There's your answer. Awful."

"Why is it awful, Jess?"

"Because, Winston, because I kissed one of my best friends. Because _that_."

"It could be worse," he offers.

She pouts at his suggestion. Of course it could be worse. It could always be worse. But that's not exactly what she wants to hear at the moment.

He seems to sense her pouty disposition in her lack of an answer and continues. "What did you expect to happen?"

"I don't know!"

"You moved in with three guys... three young, horny-"

"Winston!"

"I'm just being real!" he insists defensively.

"God!"

"I'm just saying!"

"Yes, Winston, I hear you, I just..." She leans her forehead against the door in defeat. "I don't know what I expected."

Another moment of silence. "And...?"

"I... I..." She hasn't yet allowed herself to consider that question. It's something she's been pushing out of her mind. But if she really thought about how she felt for Nick... Her head begins to spin. "Just go away, Winston."

"Jess-"

"Please." She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. "I just wanna be alone for a minute."

"Just for a minute?"

"Just for a minute," she promises.

"You'll come right out?"

"Winston!"

"Right! I'm going."

She hears him scramble to his feet and hurry away and is surprisingly less than happy to find herself alone again.

And then the doorbell rings.

* * *

**_So they may (or may not?) get together this season, per show writers/producers/somethings._**

**_I'm to the point where I'm like, Just DO it already!_**


	5. Jess & Cece

**Jess & Cece**

* * *

"Open the door, Jess."

"No," she insists stubbornly.

"Do it."

"And what if I don't?" she replies smartly, though she knows resistance is futile.

"_Open the door, Jess_!"

"Gaaah. I hate you sometimes," Jess grumbles, scrambling to her feet and unlocking her bedroom door.

Cece charges in, and Jess quickly closes the door behind her, making sure to lock it again. "You do not. You're stuck with me forever."

"It makes me cry sometimes."

"Out of disbelief and gratitude." Cece guides her friend to the bed and forces her to sit. "Now speak."

"What am I, a dog?" Jess asks in mock shock.

"Stop avoiding the topic at hand."

"Which iiiisss..." Jess shrugs her shoulders, playing dumb.

"You. And those guys." Cece waves a hand indiscriminately in the direction of the three men waiting in the living room. "And why they called me and said it was an emergency and demanded that I come over _now_. You know, I was sleeping in today."

"I kissed Nick!" Jess wails, falling back on to her bed and covering her face with her hands. "I kissed him!"

"So...?" Cece says, clearly not seeing the obvious problem with this situation.

"So?!" Jess pushes herself up on her elbows and glares Cece down from her awkward position. "So I... I kissed him!"

"Aaand I'm not at all surprised. Is that all this was about? You people seriously woke me up for _this_?" Cece demands incredulously, arms akimbo.

"This is serious, Cece!" Jess insists, pushing herself all the way up. "I... I... I kissed _Nick_!"

"You can keep saying it, but that won't change the fact that you two have something going on," Cece observes dryly.

"But I-"

"And why are you fighting this so hard, anyway?" Cece peers down at Jess curiously, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. "Wait... you _reall__y_ like him. Don't you?" Jess looks up, down, away from Cece's piercing gaze. "You _do_ - you... you _love_ him?"

"Shhhhh!" Jess shushes, jumping to her feet and clamping a hand over Cece's mouth.

"Look, it's not my fault you're so socially awkward!" Cece mumbles under Jess's hand.

"I am _not_," Jess denies, though she knows full well her friend speaks the truth. She drops her hand and takes a step back._  
_

"Give me a break," Cece says dismissively. "Jimmy Daniels was the first guy to ask you out, and you threw your pencil at him."

"He creeped me out!"

"Whatever - you'd had a crush on him since second grade!"

"He looked at me funny."

"You're just _full_ of excuses, and a few other things."

"What am I supposed to _do_?!" Jess wails, pressing her hands to her forehead.

"Ummm, how about telling him how you feel? There's a new concept." Jess doesn't entirely appreciate the way Cece seems to be mocking her.

"Yeah, you're one to talk, Miss See-Cece-Run!" Jess shoots back pointedly.

Cece shrugs. "I'm over that."

"Cece!" Jess whines. "I'm serious."

Cece takes a deep breath in, obviously attempting to humor her high-strung best friend. "Well, I feel like breakfast. And I'm sure Schmidt and Winston do, too."

Jess's eyes widen in horror. "You wouldn't."

"Yep, I'm definitely starving. Let me go ask those guys. I'm sure they'll come with me."

"Cece!" Jess grabs for Cece's arm, but the pretty young model is too quick for her. She moves easily out of Jess's grasp, causing Jess to lose her balance and tumble into the floor. "Cece!" she screeches again.

"Wiiinston! Schmiiidt! How about some breakfast, boys?"

"I'm down!"

"What's good!"

"We're leaving Jess, love you, bye!" she hears Cece call from the front door, and Jess scrambles to chase after her.

"Wait!" she calls, but she is too late. The door shuts in front of her, and she finds herself alone.

"Um." He clears his throat. "Hey, Jess."

Okay. So not quite alone.

* * *

**_I feel strange after that dresser moment, trying to figure this story out, because they both already know they like each other... except I started writing this before that episode. Anyway, I'm chopping away at it. Sorry for the delay. NaNoWriMo found me with a horrible case of the brain farts. And I literally wrote NOTHING all month. Blech. Review!_**

**_*I also just noticed I switched tenses in the last chapter. UGH. Fixing!_**


	6. Nick & Jess

**Nick & Jess**

* * *

"Jess."

"Ohhh, heyyy, Niiiick, um... I have to... go feed my goldfish..." She turns on her heel in a lame attempt to flee before he notices the fact that she's no longer barricaded in her room.

"You're a bad liar, Jess."

_This is true_, she muses, but she dare not agree out loud. "At least I don't backsweat," she retorts without turning to face him. "_Backsweater."_ She can't resist a petty jab at him. She's still Jess.

"That sounds like something you wear."

His voice is agonizingly calm, and he is unperturbed by her lame insults. This can't be good. "You know, Nick," she says, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, "we could always just pretend... this never happened... I know you've had eyes on my new iPad for a while now..."

"Are you trying to bribe me?" he asks incredulously.

"NO!" she denies quickly. "Yes," she sulkily admits seconds later.

"It's not going to work."

She considers whining but knows that will be equally ineffective.

"Why don't you turn around, Jess."

"I don't want to," she refuses stubbornly, crossing her arms in front of her.

"This isn't going to make this any less awkward, you know."

"Who says this is awkward? I'm not awkward. I'm not being awkward. What's awkward about this situation, Nick?"

"You just said awkward four times in one breath."

"And you counted," is her pointed retort.

He doesn't answer immediately, and she stares in fierce concentration at her bedroom door. _So close... so close!_ Briefly she wonders if he will notice if she ninja crawls back to her room. And then she wonders what exactly a ninja crawl is.

"Do you... do you regret it?" he asks in a low, somber voice. She feels as if her heart is being ripped out of her chest, and yet she is frozen in fear.

A long, loudly silent moment passes before she is able to answer. She swallows hard. "No," she finally confesses.

"Then turn around and talk to me."

She adamantly shakes her head. "No. I can't."

"Fine." He sighs, in an almost dramatically and excessively loud manner. "I'll talk." _This should be interesting. Or bad. Very bad_, she decides.

"I don't regret it. I _don't_ regret kissing you. I wanted to. And - and it's not because I was drinking. I've wanted to do that for... a long, long time." An involuntary shiver ripples down her spine at his intense words. "I've thought about it... a lot. Too much. Maybe more than I should have... Definitely more than I should have. And maybe slightly more risque... I mean..." Another sigh. He's trying hard to make sense. She might be impressed. Maybe. Only a little._  
_

"What I'm trying to say, Jess..." She cringes at the ensuing pause, helpless to halt or even slow what may come next. "I don't regret saying that I love you. Because I do."

The only audible sound in the room is her heavy breathing and her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She should speak, she thinks. Maybe. She should say something. But she can't. Her mouth is suddenly made of sandpaper.

"Jess."

Her heart beats faster as she hears him take small, light steps closer to her.

"Please."

And then he is standing behind her, and his hand is touching hers, and then she spins around, and she is falling, but she is in his arms, and then their mouths collide-

"OW!"

No. That was their foreheads. That was _definitely_ their foreheads colliding, and not their mouths. Miss. Again.

"I'm sorry," she blurts, finding her voice at last. "I - I'm-"

He helps her regain her balance, shaking his head. "Don't be." His brown eyes are staring down at her, setting her skin on fire and sending her pulse racing off into a sparkly rainbow on a unicorn singing the happiest song she has ever heard.

When their lips touch this time, there is no pain and no collision. And this time she doesn't pull away. This time she sinks against his body and lets him cradle her head in his hands and...

Just. Gives. In.

* * *

**_Eek. (Not done yet!)_**


End file.
